What's In A Name?
by Evangelina Amaryllis
Summary: A mysterious girl nurses Shizuo's broken leg, but there's more to her than just a pretty face. Izaya Orihara's games continue to play; the Reaper, the Dullahan and the humans, but in the end, who is the spider, and who is the prey? Better yet, who will break the web? Rated T for slight language. (Not Izaya x Shizuo)


As Shizuo opened his eyes, he groaned. "What the hell happened?" He muttered as he tried to sit up, only to find a pair of hands pushing him back down gently. He was on a clean, white bed.  
"You need to rest if you want to get better." A feminine voice spoke. His eyes fell on a girl with long brown hair that fell down to her waist. She looked perfectly natural, and her smile was that of a sweet caretaker.  
"Where am I?" He asked quietly.  
"My home. I found you knocked out nearby and brought you here – I couldn't just leave you there." She placed a cold towel over his forehead.  
"I'm kinda heavy, though." He growled, although he growled almost all the time.  
"I know – it was painful, and fairly difficult, but I managed to get you inside. Do you remember how you got hurt?" Shizuo thought carefully. He had wanted to destroy Izaya once more, but had been interrupted by something – a truck. Yes, he'd been hit by a truck and thrown a fair distance away.  
"I got hit by a truck, I think." He nodded, but could only blush as he found the girl's hand on his cheek.  
"You should be more careful, you know. You broke your leg, though, so you should take it easy. Are you hungry?"  
"Uh... No, thanks..." He frowned as his stomach grumbled in protest, aching for a morsel or anything he could injest.  
"I don't think your stomach agrees." The girl let out an innocent giggle. "I'll get you something to eat."

Once she returned, Shizuo tried to sit up once more. This time, she didn't stop him. He found her setting a tray on his lap. He examined the contents, wondering if he had anything to complain about. There was a bowl of rice porridge with raisins on top for him, and right next to it was a tall glass of milk. "You need as much milk as you can get, so your leg'll heal faster." She smiled as she watched him drain the contents of the glass.  
"Thanks." He mumbled, wiping his lips with the back of his hand. "How come my leg doesn't hurt?" He asked the question, fairly curious.  
"I gave you some painkillers when I brought you. You were in a lot of pain, despite being unconscious." She sighs.  
"I see... Thanks." He nodded and started eating before practically swallowing the whole bowl in one go.  
"You must have been very hungry." She smiles. "Would you like more?"  
"No." She picked the tray up and set it aside before tenderly dabbing at his lips with a napkin.  
"Alright then. Oh, your sunglasses are safe. I have them ready for you when you need them." She stroked his hair gently.  
"Name's Shizuo Heiwajima." He muttered, expecting her reaction of fear. He knew she would react like everyone else; claiming to have heard of him and recalling him being called a monster by everyone in Ikebukuro. However, her real reaction hit him like a slap on the face – it woke him up, and made him realize that not everyone was as predictable as he thought.  
"Oh, I've heard of you! You're that poor soul Izaya keeps messing with!" She giggles softly. "Don't let him get to you – Izaya can be a good guy, but he just likes to see people freak out. I speak from experience, of course."  
"You know that bastard?" Shizuo had to admit he started getting angry for absolutely no reason. It wasn't her fault she knew him. She didn't deserve to see that side of him, and he would do all he could to control himself for possibly the only person in the world who wasn't absolutely terrified of him.  
"I talk to him sometimes; he helps me when I need it, and he's a good guy to me overall. I just don't trust him with my life – that would probably end up killing me." She remained cheerful, even while mentioning the concept of her own death. Shizuo was definitely surprised by this innocent girl. It was like she had the childlike innocence of a baby, but she looked so much older than that. She seemed to be around Celty's visible age – possibly somewhere in her twenties? Really, though, Shizuo couldn't care less about her age, or whether or not she was innocent. All he cared about was making sure he never scared her away, or even worse – he had to make sure he never hurt her. "Are you okay, Shizuo?" She asked, placing a gentle hand on his. "You've gone so pale... I'll get you some warm tea." Before she could stand up and leave his side, Shizuo latched onto the hand on his, closing his eyes tightly. He felt like he wanted to cry; to scream. He felt so frustrated – why did he have this power? Why was he the only monster in his family? Kasuka got to be so calm and collected, so why him?

The brunette's eyes widened as she felt Shizuo's hand holding hers. "Shizuo..." A single tear slid down his left cheek. "You poor thing..." She bent over and pulled him into her arms, shocking him. She felt him gasp underneath her, but she didn't move away. "It's okay. I know everything about you. Izaya told me everything – from your childhood up until now. You don't have to worry about a thing." She murmured. She would never admit that Izaya was her ex boyfriend. Not if she wanted to keep Shizuo from finding out why she left him. That would lead to a battle to the death between them, and she couldn't bear to see either of them die, or be a murderer.  
"You know... Why aren't you afraid?" He whispered, seeming hesitant as he tried to formulate a sentence.  
"Because I know you wouldn't hurt me. I know you wouldn't do anything to me on purpose." Shizuo froze as she spoke the last two words. She knew exactly what was going through his mind – and she knew that he felt like those two words would choke him. He wouldn't hurt her on purpose, but he could hurt her while in one of his frenzies. Even so, she wasn't scared. She had stared death right in the face multiple times, on the hands of many people; the slasher, the Yellow Scarves and Izaya Orihara himself. She tried to swallow the lump in her throat before speaking up once more. "Shizuo, I'm not supposed to be alive." As she heard him growl, preparing to contradict her, she continued. "I've been hospitalised before and I survived all three times by a miracle. Shinra Kishitani said so himself, and his father agreed. I was supposed to die the very first time, but I didn't. The second and third times were just more times when I had prepared myself for death, only to be surprised to find that I'm alive and breathing." Shizuo relaxed as he heard her story. "So, Shizuo, if you ever _do_ hurt me by accident, I won't be upset. If you even kill me, I won't be hurt. It'll just be fate catching up to me."  
"You said you were alive by a miracle." He mumbled.  
"That's right." She nodded.  
"Doesn't that miracle mean you're supposed to live? Doesn't that mean you still have more time here?" He gently pushed her back so he could look into her now teary eyes. "Listen, because of you, that bastard Izaya didn't get to kill me while I was unconscious. You have a purpose here, and that miracle wasn't a mere coincidence. You were left to live for a reason." His words made her smile. She had wanted to hear those words. Izaya had been cruel, telling her she should have died the first time, and the second. He had intended to kill her the third, but he had failed, and he hated her for not dying. Nevertheless, she gave him things he wanted – information, food and most importantly, she gave him entertainment. Izaya loved watching her actions and reactions to everything – from his own words to the news they heard. She would never admit that she had truly loved him, but she couldn't forgive him. She could forgive him beating her, cutting her and even almost killing her, but she couldn't forgive him for _that_. Now, though, Shizuo was telling her she had a reason to exist – he was telling her she was _supposed_ to be alive, and to her, that meant more than the world.  
"_I don't want to be the one the battles always choose. 'Cause inside I realize that I'm the one confused." _The music blared from her phone and she sighed as she looked at the caller ID.  
"Why'd you have to call _now_?" She muttered. "I'll be right back, Shizuo." He nodded and let her leave the room to answer.

"It's nice to talk to you again." His voice spoke with an obvious sarcastic tone.  
"What do you want from me?" She snapped, trying to keep her voice from jumping to a higher pitch. She was also trying to keep herself from crying, but at least _that_ didn't show.  
"I heard Shizu-chan's at your place. Are you going to toy with him, too?" She felt like a knife had gone through her heart and was twisting around inside her.  
"Shut up..." She hissed.  
"Or maybe you just miss being kissed, so you'll just kiss him and throw him aside?"  
"Shut up..." She repeated, starting to feel even worse as the lies she heard were transforming into truths in her imagination.  
"Oh! I have a good one – do you want to break his heart just for your sadistic enjoyment?" He laughed into her ear, tipping her over the edge.  
"SHUT UP!" She screamed, tears streaming down her cheeks like two slim waterfalls.  
"Upset, are we?" He chuckled. "You're starting to bore me so I'm hanging up." After that, she heard a click and continuous beeping. She let her phone fall to the ground, only to discover that she had fallen to her knees.  
"It can't be... No..." She took a deep breath and stood up, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand before calling out to Shizuo. "Shizuo, I'm going out."  
"A-Are you okay?" He called back. "Who were you talking to?"  
"Just some bastard." She muttered. "I'll be back soon. Don't move." Without another word, she let Shizuo hear the slam of the door.

The blond man sighed as he ran a hand through his hair. "What the hell just happened?" He muttered. He hated being handicapped like that – he wanted to run out after her and confirm his suspicions. No one could toy with somebody's nerves and thoughts like that – no one but Izaya. He let his head fall back onto the pillow and closed his eyes. "Who is that girl? Why haven't I seen her before? Why would Izaya do that to her?" He shook his head at the last question. "Izaya's a sadistic bastard. He would definitely do that to her." Suddenly, the painkillers she'd given him started to wear off. The unbearable pain that shot through his leg made him break out in a cold sweat. "Come on..." He quietly pleaded with her to come back soon. He needed her care, despite how much he hated to admit it. "Please..." Overwhelmed by the pain, he yelled out before falling into a comatose state – mostly because of how much energy he'd exerted by thinking.

After talking to Shinra and Celty, she felt much better. "I should head back home. I'm taking care of Shizuo and I don't want to leave him alone too long." She stood up.  
"Do you need me to come with you? You can't exactly help him into the bathroom." Shinra smiled, leaning against a wall.  
"Sh-shut up!" She snapped. "I'll manage..." Celty held up her phone.  
'_If you need anything, just call.'_ She nodded a response and turned to walk away. She felt her heart suddenly drop and felt like she had to hurry back to him. To Shizuo. She sprinted her way through the crowds of Ikebukuro – through the Yellow Scarves, the Dollars and any other factions that came across her. She sped past Simon Brezhnev, ignoring his offer of sushi. Finally, she stumbled into the apartment, panting softly. "Shizuo!" She called. Hearing no answer, she dashed into the bedroom and gasped. "Shizuo, wake up!" She shook him gently. She let out a sigh of relief as she heard him groan.  
"Hurts..." He mumbled. She nodded and grabbed the syringe. She injected some medicine inside it and gently folded his sleeves, pulling them up.  
"This'll make you feel better." She placed the needle in and administered the painkiller just as Shinra had taught her to. She didn't bother cleaning the spot first – to her, that was useless compared to making his pain go away. He continued to writhe before going still.  
"Was Izaya the one on the phone?" He asked directly. She went silent and just looked at her knees. "It was him, wasn't it?" A simple nod of her head gave him his answer.  
"Shizuo... I don't know who I am anymore... The way he talks to me... It makes me feel like a... Like a _monster_, Shizuo." She mumbled.  
"A monster? Listen to me. You're no monster – a monster wouldn't bring me into her house and nurse me. A monster... That's what _I _am."  
"Shizuo..." She smiled at him. "You know you're not a monster."  
"I want to listen to that song." He sat up in bed carefully.  
"Which one?" She tilted her head, slightly surprised at his rapid change of subject.  
"Your ringtone." He replied calmly.  
"Oh... Sure." She pulled her phone out of the pocket of her jeans and increased the volume before playing the song for him. "It's called Breaking The Habit, by Linkin Park. They're a Western band." Shizuo listened carefully to lyrics, feeling like his mind was speaking to him. Halfway through, he heard a soft voice join the harsh one in the song. As he looked at her, he found his feminine caretaker singing softly. She was holding her hands on her lap, clenched into tight fists. She squeaked as she found a hand on hers, just as hers had been over his. He offered her a barely noticeable smile which she accepted with gratitude.

Once the song was over, she stopped her phone's media player and looked at Shizuo. "What's your name?" He whispered, truly curious.  
"I..." She went quiet after trying to reply.  
"You... You're an angel, aren't you?" He looked at her, holding her hand. "An angel sent to take care of me. Izaya's the demon – he wants to break you, but you're stronger than him. You're an angel."  
"An angel?" She shook her head. "If anybody's a demon, it's me."  
"Demons have ways to play with people's heads; they can repeat lies into your mind so many times, you'd think they were real." She looked at him in surprise. Was he... Voicing what her heart wanted to believe? What her subconscious mind had been trying to explain to her? Tears filled her eyes and she fell to the ground by the bed, burying her face in his side. Shizuo absently stroked her hair, sighing softly. "I don't know what that flea's been saying to you, but you belong in heaven. You belong where there aren't any demons or slashers. Go home." He honestly believed that she was an angel – he never recalled seeing her, despite heading to Izaya's office in Shinjuku to kill him multiple times.  
"Home...?" She looked up at him. "Shizuo... I really am no angel... I just... I'm scared to tell you my name... If I tell you, you'll remember it, and you won't be able to forget me."  
"Forget you? Why would I wanna forget you?" He asked.  
"Because I'm not meant to have friends. My past was all Izaya – you could say I _belong_ to him. I'm his property, and I can't get out of his prison. Even if I leave the whole country, he'll find me and he'll keep me chained. Every time..." Shizuo noticed her starting to shake. "Every time somebody's my friend... He just ruins it all... Nobody remembers me now. Shizuo, I don't want Izaya to kill you!" She sobbed into his shirt. The man's eyes softened and he held her closer.  
"Izaya already wants me dead more than anything – and he hasn't killed me yet. I won't die so easily." She looked up at him, her eyes shimmering like little pools, glistening with tears and as round as hula hoops. "If he tries to lay a finger on you, I'll beat that bastard all the way to Shibuya."  
She couldn't help but giggle as she pointed out a clear fact. "You can't with a broken leg."  
"Who cares?" He smirks. "Never stopped me before." She finally smiled again, holding onto him.  
"Thank you so much, Shizuo." She whispered.  
"Don't worry about it." He replied, letting go of the matter of her name for now.

They stayed together until they heard the doorbell ring. The young woman stood up and seemed to rub her side for a moment before walking out to the door. No peephole in her door, she had to open it. As soon as she opened the door a crack, it flew open and Izaya Orihara stood before her, pocket knife out. "You think I'm gonna let you off easy? Just leave you alone?" He smirked. She frowned at him. He was the last person she wanted to see, in all reality.  
"Get out." She snapped.  
"I don't want to." He slid in and smirked. "So, where you keepin' him? Did you seduce him yet?"  
"Shut up." She growled. As Izaya made his way to the bedroom Shizuo was in casually, she raced after him, her legs and hands moving with equal speed. As Izaya stood in front of the bedridden Shizuo with his knife, she stood with a traditional English shortsword pointed at the raven's back.  
"You still have that thing?" Izaya laughed. "Oh, this is _fun_. What're you gonna do? Fight me?"  
"What? Too scared to be beaten by a girl?" She sneered. "I'm not your puppet anymore, Izaya. I'm not the monster you say I am. I'm not as cruel as you claim. I'm my own person."  
"IIIIZAAAAYAAAAA!" Shizuo yelled, making to climb out of bed.  
"Shizuo, stay right there in bed." She hissed.  
"But-" He started, only to be interrupted.

"No buts! Just do it!" She ordered, and Shizuo sighed, lying back in bed.

As Izaya lunged at her, she met his knife with her blade. She was definitely the last person Shizuo expected to see with a weapon, or even fighting Izaya. Every time one of them got close to hitting the other, they'd be able to dodge or counter attack. Shizuo felt useless – he wanted to help her, but from the way things looked, he would only be a hassle to her if he tried to help. She'd decided to nurse him, and if he broke any more bones, it would only cause her more trouble. As Izaya managed to land a cut on her arm, she growled and leaped to her phone, quickly starting the music. Pain by Three Days Grace started playing around the room, and for some reason, Izaya went pale. As the slower part started, she made her way to Shizuo slowly and bent forward, gently kissing his head before turning to Izaya. "Get ready to die." She snapped before moving her body to the music. Every time he came close to hitting her, she'd use a different move. Her body seemed to flow on its own, bending and twisting in different ways as the music played. Shizuo listened to the lyrics as he watched her. It was then that it dawned on him – she was protecting him. She knew he couldn't fight, sos eh was fighting for him. Izaya had come to the house to kill _him_, not her! "You ruined my life." She spat at the informant. "You made me lonely and scared. I couldn't say a word to anyone without being afraid that you'd hurt them."  
"And look how well that worked out – you became just as twisted and cruel as I am!" Izaya smirked as he watched the blood on her upper-left arm. She strutted around the room, swishing her hips to the music.  
"I'll _never_ be like you, Izaya." He lunged once more, but it didn't work. She jumped back just as the music sped up. "You're cruel and you don't care who you hurt. You can't love anyone."  
"You're a masochist, you know." He continued trying to annoy her. They both knew that if she got too angry, her mind won't be able to think straight and she'll start performing stupid moves.  
"That may be so, but I only like the pain when I'm taking it away from someone else. Somebody who's _worth_ it." She kicked Izaya in the face before slitting his right hand with her sword. He fell back to the ground and groaned, trying to get at her feet with the knife in his left hand, but he failed. The song ended with her pointing her sword at Izaya's chest.

_Izaya._ It was the only name she remembered and thought of those days. The only person she cared for – she wanted to be the one to crack that sadistic shell and tap into the kindness inside him. She truly believed he could be a good person. Maybe it was childish innocence, or maybe it was curiosity, but she wanted to do it. That was why she found herself standing in front of his desk once more. He was smirking at her, seeming amused by her presence. She took a deep breath and made her confession of love, which he accepted with laughter. One thing she would always remember, though, was that he never said he returned her feelings. He never told her that he loved her, and he never told her the feeling was mutual. Yet, he also never told her that he hated her. Whenever she asked him if he loved her, he would always work around the question by saying she's interesting, or fun to watch. He never said she was fun to _be around_. Just to watch. At first, she felt special. She felt like she was the only one he found interesting and fun to watch, but eventually, she found him saying it to everyone. At first she'd gotten jealous when he'd said it to one Namie Yagari, but then he said it to a male reporter, then Celty Sturluson. Slowly, she started to feel useless to him. As she escaped onto the roads to walk through the crowds, she saw death for the first time. The Grim Reaper visited her for the first time, and for some reason, she wasn't scared of him. She wasn't scared of his glowing red eyes, or his slashing movements. She'd heard Izaya talking about him – he went by the name of The Slasher, but to her, he was the archangel of death. He would take her to the afterlife – she wouldn't be Izaya's Valkyrie if she died first, and although the idea of Izaya going to hell saddened her, she didn't care that much anymore. She survived that first run-in, and that was the only time she felt like Izaya cared. He had taken care of her and nursed her back to health, and she felt like that shock could have brought them closer, but that period of time was short-lived. He abandoned her quickly, like a little toy he'd gotten bored of. She went out into the streets a second time, hoping to meet the Grim Reaper again. This time, though, he appeared in the form of a young man with a yellow scarf around his neck. He hadn't meant to kill her, though. He just wanted to beat her up a bit, but she turned out to be more fragile than he'd thought. Naturally, he left the bleeding girl on the ground to die and ran off before the cops could catch him. This time, Izaya wasn't as gentle as before. He reprimanded her, accusing her of provoking the gangster and that was when the real games started. He hammered words like 'slut' and 'bitch' into her head until that was what she believed herself to be. She didn't want to envision herself as a wicked witch, but Izaya had given her no choice. It was then that she realized that the Grim Reaper wasn't The Slasher or a member of the Yellow Scarves. The Grim Reaper was staring her right in the face, and she had fallen into his web of cruel games. It was only a matter of time before the spider would finish weaving its web, and it would slowly catch more and more prey, devouring them all with her at the center; with her as the big feast. She stood in front of his desk and faked a smile that day. He wasn't in a good mood, though. He felt like he had to kill something, and for some reason, he decided to start with the feast and eat the rest for dessert – at least, that's what he had planned. His blade had cut across her torso, and he'd left her on the ground. She would have died, too. The Grim Reaper had found her and had left his mark. The spider had eaten its feast. However, the spider didn't eat the entire feast. He had left little crumbs in the web that were slowly but surely slipping free, right under his nose. Celty Sturluson – the Valkyrie; the Dullahan, had saved her. She happened to be walking into the office, searching for the reaper but stumbled across the young caterpillar on the ground. Without Celty Sturluson, she would never have been given the chance to grow into a beautiful butterfly. She had that chance when Celty took her back to Shinra and had him fix her up. That was when she realized something. Izaya Orihara had dealt his final blow. He was bored of her – he didn't _want_ her anymore. She decided that she would never go back to him. Shinra had helped her find a furnished apartment and had even bought it for her, claiming it was a gift for her new birth. Maybe to him she had escaped the cocoon as a butterfly, but not to her. Not yet. She still had to fight the nightmares that plagued her mind every night – she still feared Izaya's return, and so it came just as she began to live peacefully. He tormented her on the phone and in person, but even he knew he couldn't take her away from her new home. She was in the cocoon, and not even his blade could cut through it.

"Why'd you let him live?" Shizuo asked after everything had been handled. After she had pointed her blade at the spider's chest, she looked it straight in the eyes. _Go, but never forget that I can kill you at any time. Leave me, Shizuo and everyone in Ikebukuro alone._ Her words echoed in her mind as she smiled at Shizuo.  
"Simple; he tortured me – I lived in fear because of him. Now he has to lay low, and he hates laying low. It'll be torture for him. He'll be sitting in the theatre with everyone, but the curtains will be closed to only him. It's time for some payback." She explained her actions calmly, stroking Shizuo's hair as she looked up into the night sky.  
"What if he comes back?" The bartender gazed out of the window with her as he spoke.  
"Spiders weave their webs in such a complicated way; they link prey that would otherwise have never been brought together. Only when the center is destroyed will the rest of the web fall apart. You can't kill the Grim Reaper – he will always return in different forms. What you _can_ do, though, is keep him in his place. You can keep him as a creature on the sidelines, only showing himself when a person's time has truly come. The Dullahan rides by to warn of death – to warn of the Grim Reaper's presence. She acts as a signal to the people. If a death doesn't occur soon enough, it means the Grim Reaper's not doing his job right. It means somebody has to set him straight, and that somebody will be me." Shizuo scoffed and patted her head.  
"Just make sure I'm right by your side when you do." He murmured. After a short silence in which they both contemplated the past events, Shizuo looked at her. "What's your name anyway? You said I'd be scared if you told me, but I doubt it."  
"Tell me, Shizuo; if my name was Anri or Erika, or Celty or Mika, or even Namie, would that change who I am?" She looked right into his eyes as she spoke.  
"No..." He tried to understand where she was getting at.  
"What if my name was Simon? Or Mikado or Izaya? Would my name change what you think of me?"  
"No." He replied, thinking he might be starting to understand.  
"My name doesn't matter. You don't need to know my name to know who I _am._" Shizuo nodded and fell silent once more, looking out into the city lights of Ikebukuro.

"_What's in a name? That which we call a rose  
By any other name would smell as sweet."  
~Juliet (Shakespeare's 'Romeo and Juliet')_


End file.
